So I have to preface this by saying I am an English major and usually my math prowess hovers at its highest during sales, preferably for clothing or jewelry. But on a recent shopping trip with my 25-year-old daughter, I puffed myself up proudly making her put back higher priced brands for better priced items over and over again. I told her I would make her a better grocery shopper if she would just listen and watch. Of course, I was at one of my favorite stores, Whole Foods, which can be pricey but has so many scrumptious, healthy options. And the produce is so pretty, succulent and inviting. I was totally taken in by the beautiful red cherries that, PEE SHAW, I didn’t even look at the price until I got home and saw on my receipt…$19 for a tiny bag of gorgeous cherries. Yes, God will slap a prideful Southern mama down in a flash, won’t he! My daughter, Sara, who could have given me hell for it, instead was scarfing them down in her oatmeal this morning and telling me how good they are. (She’s home temporarily while renovating a townhouse, read about it on her blog theworkingathlete.net). Since she’s an Accountant, HOW DID THAT HAPPEN???, that was a pretty nice Mother’s Day gift of silence and non-judgment. Better than flowers, I would say. Happy Mother’s Day ladies! May you be as blessed as I am with my beautiful daughter and handsome, wild, loud-mouthed son.
“When God Created Mothers”
When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”
And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts…all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”
The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands…. no way.”
It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”
That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.
One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”
God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest tomorrow….”
I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick…can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger…and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”
The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.
But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”
Can it think?”
Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.
Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.
There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”
It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”
What’s it for?”
It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”
You are a genius, ” said the angel.
Somberly, God said, “I didn’t put it there.”
― Erma Bombeck, When God Created Mothers