The last three Mother’s Days have been bad like the rest of the holidays for that matter. Our son Matt has been dealing with some serious depression since being hurt in college and losing his wrestling scholarship. Like most kids, he found a way to blame his disappointment on us and turned his hurt pride turned hatred mostly toward me. It’s been a nightmare of mostly useless therapy, sadness and confusion.
But in this fourth year, he’s made some real strides in pushing past all of it and getting better. Like me, my kids can’t wait until the actual “day” of the holiday to give gifts and my daughter Sara gave me a beautiful necklace today, the day before Mother’s Day, from a store on Etsy called Pink Chemistry! It’s a delicate gold chain with a bar that has her and her brother’s name etched on it. She said a lot of celebrities have them. Does she know her Fashionista mommy or what?
Matt gave me two gorgeous orchids that I love.
As I alluded to earlier, we’ve had some rough times since he came home injured from Lock Haven. He is like me in many ways and we butt heads. We are master writers, communicators and unfortunately that also translates to us being really awesome arguers and that is not good for our relationship. But we are moving toward harmony and the beautiful tow-headed boy that hung on my every word is in him, I know it, deep down. This is the first Mother’s Day in 4 years he’s even recognized this particular holiday, and that alone is the greatest gift I and truthfully, our whole family, could have received in a long time.
The lack of health of a family member, mental or physical, can paralyze everyone. We’ve been in limbo for so long, going through the motions of living, walking on eggshells, that being able to have a little joy in something most people take for granted, just getting some flowers from your son, is so, so very sweet…I am really savoring it. He hugged me when I showed him the necklace Sara bought me, and I’ve got to admit I’m tearing up writing this right now, because he said, “I’m going to spend the whole day with you tomorrow mom”.
There were times in the last 4 years we were afraid he would hurt himself, and we’ve made it through a lot of dark days to see a light at the end of the tunnel… I have hope again. I always had it. Moms are the last to lose it, aren’t we? But it was growing ever so weak and I feel it really bolstered by this day and the love of my husband and children. God is good. May you all be blessed today and every day. Happy Mother’s Day!